It Turns Out...

I don't really enjoy managing all the clean up/restoration work that has been going on for the past month.

In fact, I find dealing with all of the contractors, subcontractors, laborers and the whole insurance component to be one of the most stressful jobs I've had to undertake.

I don't think, even if I did get to control the timeline, cost, or work being done, I'd enjoy this.

The reality is that I don't get to control any of the above, and well... I pretty much hate it.

Insurance is the final word, and "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit".

It's all of the negatives of a major home renovation, with absolutely none of the positives.

Put all that stress right on the back of the most traumatic event in my life...

(just because you live through something, does not mean you think you will at the time... and that took a pretty serious psychological toll on me and I'm still working through that, not to mention the PTSD that makes sleeping nearly impossible... as I'm always listening for wind... or just dealing with regular weather patterns without anxiety.. it's hard)

and... I'm at my breaking point.

It just seems unfair that you have to live through both the destruction and then the construction.

Of course, Mr F is rarely here... wasn't here when it hit and is not here for the construction.

It's a lot to manage on my own.

And I've passed my ability to handle it well.

Saving Face

Unfortunately, it turns out tree farms are lacking, ironically, in shade.

I woke up this morning looking, as Kid described, "like a dog tore off your nose and then put it back on". Which is also a good description of the pain I'm in. Particularly awesome, since we have a fancy Easter dinner to attend.

(Keep in mind the flash is washing this picture out... it was even more horrendous is person, if possible)

Thank God, I had kept that tube of foundation the makeup artist used at my wedding (yes, that's the first and last time I ever wore any)... I really wasn't sure how I could show up anywhere looking like a red & white raccoon.

I might die of botulism, but at least I don't look like a complete freak anymore.